Expecting the Unexpected

I am feeling a little bit sad.  I am looking into what I will have to do for my treatment, and it appears I will have to move into another home.  I will also likely have to get rid of mattresses, couches, etc... basically any furniture you cannot wipe down and have it be mold free.  All books, especially those in the garage, paperwork, kids' artwork, baby books?... oh my gosh.  This is hard.  I am the mistress of the understatement.  We will probably have to just walk about from most of our belongings.  That is not all bad, but I just might need some therapy for this.  Oh boy.  Plus we would need to downsize to save money, so we will be selling some of the wood furniture to pay for some treatments and because we cannot fit everything.  Some things we could likely salvage, but is it worth the risk?

We really need 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms, some space for the littles to play and keep their toys, and I would LOVE a fireplace... it's a "little" thing that means a lot to me.  I could also really be okay with a hot tub... if in a condo or apartment or something.

Yet again, nearly 2 months after a sudden move away from my family and friends, my family and I relocated with scarcely any time to plan or tell people.  It would be a few months after the move and people would be asking when we were moving and we were long gone.

I miss everyone.  We have made some wonderful new friends and are so blessed for the support and love we have received on this journey.  It is incredible, humbling, and growth-provoking.  I don't want to have to move further than a couple minutes from the kids' school.  I would rather stay put and just have any issues eradicated.  I don't think this is our journey though.  I wish.

I think for a little while I will be in a bit of a roller coaster.  I hope the kids roll with it more smoothly... it's been crazy for them.  The move has been good though... I have seen us more secure on ourselves and having the ability to just be us without anyone's preconceived, and often erroneous, ideas about who we are.  Here is our new beginning.  Here is our launching pad... but I don't believe that it is the fullness of it... I believe this is just to get our feet wet and prepare us for this BIG jump, the freshest start imaginable, and the walk of faith and beauty we have never known before.  This does frighten me.  It is unknown and I prefer planning.  Spontaneous is good when I get to choose it for fun and in safety.  Safety, to me, feels like something with parameters.  I know this is not accurate, but it's where I am comfortable.  And that is why I cannot stay there.  Because then I won't grow.  And I have much more growing to do... because I have something extraordinarily HUGE coming that I must do.  I wonder what it is.

Goodnight... Jen