I need you. Yes, you. I need your compassion. Your understanding. Your unconditional love. Sometimes I need you to pat me on the back, to hold my hand, to send me a note of encouragement. I need you to pray for me, and breath hope into me when mine has worn down to its core. I need you to smile at me and to wipe away my tears. I need you to see me, through all the things that could potentially keep you from seeing me clearly. I need you to care. I need you to be careful about offering advice, as often it is not what is truly helpful. Sometimes I need you to bring me something. Or to ask if there is something you could bring me that I really need, or maybe even just want. Sometimes I want you to come over with a funny movie, so we can just laugh. I need to laugh. Tell me funny things. My body hurts, and sometimes just a gentle back rub will mean the world to me. Sometimes a card in the mail makes me feel on top of the world. Knowing you have your own life going on, and your challenges and frustrations, but you remember me, makes me feel cherished and special. I need that. I need you to keep your word. Please don't make me promises, and then back out. Either don't make any, and surprise me, or keep them. When I am in a place of desperate need of help, and you answer a prayer, but then really don't, it is devastating. I am doing my best, and as long as this is all my best is, I don't need extra disappointment and to have to figure something else out last minute. Please, don't take on things you shouldn't, even if your heart is really big. I don't want that. But if you can offer something, and want to, by all means... :)
Often a text or a phone call will take very little time from you, especially since my ringer is off 99% of the time, but will mean so much to me. If I am on your heart, tell me. That gives me a boost. If you think of me and want to see me, ask me. If I can manage a visit, I would LOVE one. I miss you. Even if you just pop by. If you do stop it, when you see me beginning to droop, make me lay down. You don't have to leave then, unless you can see I need you to, but I miss you so much I could overdo it. Things I love, vanilla candles, or any pumpkin, cinnamon, sugar cookie candle. I like lightly scented bath stuff. I like herbal teas, and decaf chai. I love fuzzy socks. hehe I like pretty scarves, and hats are delightful. I love positive sayings for home decor, and love scriptures you can hang. I'm right now visually craving autumn decor, since I don't have any anymore. I love fruits and veggies, yes! And butternut squash soup rocks those fuzzy socks off my feet. Call me crazy, but I am going vegan. For my health. I am taking my life back, yes indeed. How do you spell love? Vacuuming, dishes, and toilet cleaning. Don't you spell it that way too? I love books, reading is something I have begun to be able to do again. I love mixed bouquets, exception of lilies, which hate me. Darnit. I love good worship music. Do you have a puppy? Or a baby? Bring that little one to me so I can snuggle it! :) I love pretty things around me... there is something amazing about surrounding yourself with beauty. I love fresh, organic herbs. Because of the health crisis I am in, I am very careful about what I consume, as a rule. Organic is a wonderful thing. I love card games, but all my cards are gone, darn the luck! ;) Bring cards, I will whoop you. hahaha One important thing to remember as I heal is this... just because I seem excited, happy, and effusive with personality bubbling out of me, doesn't mean I won't rapidly hit a wall and slide right down it. Don't assume I am doing all that much better, until I say so. Looks can be deceiving. Am I improving? I think so. But I don't yet really "feel" it. I can do more, every so often. And when I am able to, my endurance is longer, but nothing near normal. Please keep in mind that when I think I am feeling well, I can quickly turn a corner and feel like I am going to pass out. This makes me feel badly as I find myself concerned about how this will affect you. Remind me in these moments, that it is about me. I have been told to focus on me, and I know I need to. This is difficult for me. Don't let me get away with deflecting that. It is dangerous for my health, for real. I want to be well. For me, for you, for the purpose God has for me. The enemy is real, but he is weak when compared to the awesome power, authority and glory of my Father God. His strength is made perfect in my weakness... well look at that, I feel useful. :) I need to rest and to eat. Probably not in that order. As you read this words, know that they likely apply to anyone (overall) that is dealing with any chronic, crippling disease or ailment... even severe depression. Please be gentle with one another. It is hard to share this with everyone, and most won't. Always operate in love. Please. Always. And thank you to all of you who have been there for me, in any way. You are sowing good seed. XOXOXO
