Welcome spring, can I go back to sleep now?

Well, good morning… Or something. I just spent the greater part of an hour trying to compel my 10-year-old to go to school. Unfortunately we have the spring forward time change yesterday and she's having difficulty acclimating. She even a difficulty going to sleep last night and ended up in my bed. The result: I am near tears and feeling very frustrated and grouchy, Jim has to leave for work with his new management position as he has two new hires beginning today, and my 10-year-old breaks down and is all apologetic but still having difficulty complying. She goes off to the restroom then comes back and I tell her forget it… And go back to sleep for two hours and then get up and take a bath and go to school at the same time as your sister goes to kindergarten. Again at my wits end and not sure what to do dealing with the child on the spectrum, I pray for help. She thinks the bath is a good idea and trucks off to have one. Perhaps we will get her to school somewhere around 10 o'clock?… I certainly hope so. I had a really late night trying to finish a project that I need to get done. As a result I am very tired and I don't want to be doing that's right now. It is actually one of my least favorite things to be dealing with. Not the fact that it's my daughter, not the fact that she's on spectrum, the fighting to get someone to cooperate and go to school is just one of my least favorite things in the whole world. If this was what I had to do for an eternity! I would feel that it was certainly hell. This is yet another perfect example of counting your blessings because when things like this happen you realize that the good things are really really good… And the bad things very frustrating, but they could be so much worse. I would rather be fighting with her to go to school then dealing with her being gravely ill.  So, I'm counting the blessing that she's healthy and that we will get through today and that at some point hopefully in the near future I will get a decent amount of sleep in a row without interruption. Yes, I am forever the optimist. I have to be or I might lose my ever loving mind.

Well, better out than in. So there you have it and now I'm going to close my eyes while I hear the bathwater run in my bathroom next to my room and hope that she doesn't take forever. Crossing my fingers, both of them, and my toes. Sending lots of prayers as well. Have a great day everybody, I'll be "Bach".

Sometimes it is good to just talk... or when the world is sleeping, to write.

Well, it has been about 16 months since I last posted here, and that was a deliberate move.  I needed to refocus on anything besides illness and so instead I began to work on business, and holidays, and then suddenly the local move we were making became less local.  Practically overnight we moved away from the North Bay and I launched a renewed business with crazy activity.  Next thing I know is I am fully immersed in the weddings and events industry in a full time capacity, more or less, with an assistant and some crazy busy schedules and a smidge overwhelmed.

It is almost a year after the move, and I am feeling even more shifts coming.  And with that comes opposition.

Anyway, I needed to journal and decided to do it here.  Why not?

I am concerned there may be some mold in here from the leak in the master toilet room.  I have been off balance, brain foggy, and having increased pain and memory issues.  In addition my eyesight is more blurry, and my hands are locking up, joints are really affected, and much of this I have not felt for quite some time.

I feel overwhelmed and frustrated, and wish I had some more help.  But I have some very special people who give so much... and it is hard when you want to give back.  Instead I am currently behind on business expenses due to being so sick over the last couple months... I just need that breakthrough already... seriously!

I am done... I have so much I could say, but I do not want to go into it.  My head is hurting, hands are cramping, and I feel like crying, so maybe this is not going to be so helpful right now after all.  Plus eyesight is acting up again.  Something is going on and has got to change!!!

so there...