Baby steps. Sometimes I feel I should be doing more than baby steps, but reality is that this is huge progress. I should celebrate every victory, and I keep saying I do and it's true. Still, there are other times where the slow progress makes me feel frustrated and sometimes a bit disappointed. I have so many hopes and dreams, so many plans for my future and my family, and slow progress doesn't quite fit with my heart's desires.
I am determining to be pleased with any progress I make. Trying to recognize the distance I have come in the last several months, and what a big deal that is. I was rapidly going downhill, and although it was hard for me to see how poorly I was doing, there are many who began to recognize it, and see the changes since then more clearly than I do. The truth is, I was doing so poorly, that I couldn't even wrap my mind around what was going on. I think maybe there's this inherent part of us that doesn't want to allow us to see how bad things are. It could be that I am a positive person by nature, and it wasn't something I always recognized because of the illness. It could be that I realize that God is always wanting what's best for me, and always breathing life into my being. And it's that desperate attempt to remember to concentrate on those truths and believe him and trust him, that have often disallowed me to see my reality. Now I say my reality, because my current reality doesn't match God's truth. But it's getting closer and closer every day.
An example of my reality coming closer to the truth is that I got up this morning, I did my praise moves workout, I got myself ready and put make up on. Those things in themselves are humongous accomplishments for me. And although that might seem silly and frivolous to some, it's because they don't have a true appreciation of what that means to someone who could scarcely get dressed much less leave the house.
I was so pleased. Then I went to lunch with Rachael and my mom, and celebrated my birthday together. We did some window shopping, and they did a little bit of real shopping, while I began to feel very fatigued. I hoped it would recover enough to enjoy the rest of the afternoon, and I did. This is also a very big deal. We then went and got pedicures and Rachael and I got manicures, and we laughed and relaxed together. After are fairly lengthy afternoon together, they drove me home. We visited briefly and they took their leave. I then spent time with the family and helped Jim get the kids ready for bed. It was a little more difficult, because I'm very sore. Not only have I done two of the praise moves workouts in the last three days, but yesterday I went and had an hour and a half massage and I'm very very tender, and very sore in places from it. I know it was important, nonetheless I still hurt. After the massage I had gone to the hot tab, and that felt good. However I think I need to soak with Epson salts and maybe ice my back.
After eating dinner and getting the kids settled for bed, I told Abby and Jim that we needed to finish zone number one. I am working diligently in getting our fly lady system set up, so our home is neater and easier to maintain.
We now have our calendar, and to do lists set up on Cozi.com. This system is fantastic, and on my new iPad (yay!), it's easy to follow. On the to do list I can just tap the boxes and it adds checkmarks. I also have been writing down the tasks for the week on the dry erase board and we just erase it as we go along. It is fantastic, and helping us to get more systems in place. It's progress, and it's actually very good progress, I just am very much a go getter, and I want to "go get".
Okay, so let me tell you what zone 1 was this week. Our tasks centered around the entry way, the dining room, and our balcony. On the lis,t it says porch, which makes more sense because they're all connected, but we don't have a porch and have a balcony instead. This evening I got on my hands and knees and I dusted the baseboards in the entry and dining areas. We're very fortunate to not have a lot of dust here, but I hardly got anything up. I am pretty sure we have not done that since we moved here in February. But now we have.
We cleaned up and organized the coat closet, wiped down the floor in the entry area, vacuumed in the dining room Jim also did the living room, and I dusted the chairs in the dining room. Jim also wiped down the front door, the table, and we did the balcony. On the balcony we had items to pick up and put away, the table to wipe down and the chairs, the railing I also wiped down and the light fixture, and we had to pour hot water onto the balcony because it was sticky from Popsicles and bubbles, and sidewalk chalk. It looks really good now, nice and tidy, and my brightly colored outdoor lights were plugged in for most of the evening. My mother-in-law bought those for my birthday, and I think I need a couple more strings to really get it how I want it, but it looks very pretty right now. It is pretty inviting, and I'm hoping for a rug to really warm it up as well as peppermint plants to ward off the flying and stinging insects, and some tin lanterns or luminaries for me to put candles in and really make it look very comfortable. I wish it wasn't so late and I could go sit out there right now, but it is awfully cold. Oh right, I also want an outdoor heater. That will be fabulous. My body is more tired than my mind, so in just a bit I'm going to try to go to sleep. Hopefully I can. I also want to put some outdoor speakers on the balcony, I have been thinking about it and it would be wonderful.
So all this is fabulous progress and next week we start on the kitchen which is zone 2 in the flylady system.
In addition to the above, this week I also got my new starter kit in for Mary Kay. I had one before, and it's basically the essentials for holding skincare classes or parties, but mine was stolen with everything else that was stolen back in February. I also made a couple calls and got some orders in, and I placed an order and received it and assembled the orders as well. So that's actually another big piece of what I accomplished this week. Not only that, but I've also been doing my nighttime routine for my face more often. When I got so sick, I'd go days without washing my face as I was hardly able to do anything. I still feel really under the weather, weak and tired. That hasn't changed really, just my stamina as it has improved, and my endurance. They're still far from normal, and I just do the best I can on a day to day, and moment by moment basis. I don't typically know in advance what I'm going to be able to do, so I just push myself when I feel like it get away with pushing myself a little bit, and other times I don't push it all because I know I can't. At least I'm recognizing that better. My goal is to do my nighttime routine every day, my praise moves workout every day, and get the zone tasks and special zone missions accomplished every week. That is something we can do as a family though, and Abby helped me tonight on the balcony. I'm really glad she did.
Meanwhile, I want to build up business tools I need to have to work the business as I improve. I will do what I can, and do it slowly. I'm going to start out as if I were a new consultant, and do everything the right way from scratch. I'm essentially starting fresh, with the exception that I have almost 14 years of history in this company, some awesome team members, and some very loyal and faithful customers. I have decided to focus on building my business with the people I see on a regular basis in helping Audrey, and specifically with this apartment complex. I'm not going to focus on much of anything else, but that and my current customers. And I will do this with very tiny baby steps. I am currently working on setting up my systems, very simplified systems this time. I think that because I didn't really use my filesystem at the old house, the files inside probably are very safe from mold spores. I think I will use them and utilize the systems I already had set up, to see if I can get this together. I think it is good for a seasoned consultant to start fresh, in a sense, every so often, so they can still be very relevant to new consultants as they come in. One of my team members is wanting to get her business off the ground, and we could come at it like we're both starting brand-new brand-new, and essentially do that together. I want to keep things very simple, which will help make maintenance easier, but also much easier for new consultants to follow. :)
I have more to say, but I'm fried and so I'm going to put on some music and go to bed. Thanks for staying tuned... I still need lots of grace and help, but when I can manage something, I do. :)
Blessings!
Jen
