I have been taking a class via phone to get rid of Lyme disease, amongst other things. It is helping and I am excited. They have classes for other things also, even emotional trauma. Seriously this is awesome.
www.advancedcelltraining.com
Thank you Lord for bringing this to my attention via my friend Robin! I am glad she was looking around for me, wanting to see me well.
I have the best family and friends!
And I get to look forward to seeing Mom and Rachael this weekend. This is wonderful!
Yay, yay, yay!
Jen
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Friday, March 23, 2012
Blesssings are chasing me down and overtaking me... yeah, you got me... :)
Well, the last several weeks have been intense, and challenging at best. TRANSITION IS NOT EASY. BUT it IS WORTHWHILE!
In the midst of moving, selling things (many that should not have been sold, many that had to be that we would rather not have), and having many thousands of dollars of stuff stolen, I find it almost unbelievable. And it's happened to ME and MINE! I cannot imagine how ridiculous this could sound to someone else.
Anyway, I just can't live in that space... it happened, it sucked, it still often does and I do occasionally have a cry. But not as many, phew! That part is slowing down. Now the reality of our new situation begins to unfold. Where are the lids to my pyrex I got a bazillion years ago at our wedding? Well, that's a good question. Do we still have them? I don't know, but the good news is that we were so inundated with pyrex, I can use some of it as a lid until we either find them, or get replacements. And our old pots and pans are gone, but we were blessed with some beautiful factory seconds, brand new and hardly noticeable anything was not pristine. Kind of funny, that I am so excited to have slightly (VERY slightly) damaged pots and pans (some don't look damaged at all...?) that are brand new, so I am less tense about the first scratch or nick. When finances get a little less crazy (we were informed today we really need about $1,100 in repairs to our car, and medical stuff is ridiculous) I can purchase replacement lids for the pans, I think. They came lidless. Still, I HAVE AWESOME, EASY TO CLEAN POTS AND PANS! WOO-HOO! I was wanting new ones. These are not what we will eventually have, but I am perfectly happy to have them until the day we get the professional set we would like.
I digress... I was going to talk about one of the items, nay TWO of the items I let go of in the move. One on purpose, the other, not so much, but I wasn't thinking about that one anyway. One item was a 9 cubby storage system. I had just purchased it in November, after thinking about it for about a year. I knew to purchase it, and get the fabric cubby drawers, it would run me about $120 at the min. I finally just felt I had to bite the bullet and get it. My kids were needing a sense of order to their toys, and with the layout of the large home we were living in, the toys kept making their way into the family room and ALL OVER. I reasoned that if I were to purchase a cubby that was black, with tan drawers, it would actually look lovely in the room, and create order. I LOVE ORDER. I LOOOOOOOOOVE ORDER. *happy sigh at thoughts of containers, shelves, labels, and all other forms of order... even filing systems... ahhhhh... * So I went to our local Kmart, since Petaluma didn't have Target, or even WalMart, and got the cubby system and all the drawers they had in the color I wanted for that room. Oh, I was so excited. It was like Christmas, or something. I then went online and ordered the other drawers to ship to store, and they were there THE NEXT MORNING! Ah, heavenly! I mean, other than I can hardly STAND entering that store and their layaway and ship to store section is RIGHT NEXT to the smelliest restrooms ever to "grace" a chain store. I am not exaggerating... I was stomach turning, but well worth it... because I could leave once I found an employee willing to work. haha I assigned a toy type to each drawer. The girls were having fun cleaning up after themselves and I was in a state of bliss. Hmmm... I really like word. I think I shall put it on my wall.
BLISS: noun: supreme happiness; utter joy or contentment: wedded bliss.
How can we not maintain some semblance of bliss when we have such open access to our God, our King, our Savior? REALLY!?! I know life can get crazy... BELIEVE ME, I KNOW! But He is our all in all... I could go on, but I will save this for another post.
And I did want to pause and say this... Have I mentioned lately what a wonderful man I married? I cannot fathom this life, these things we have faced, nor the tremendous fun we can have, with anyone else. And guess what? Dinner just came in, served by the kindest, most loving, silly, goofy guy with the best laugh I have ever heard, big hearted, adoring man ever! (I am related to some awesome men, but it would be weird to marry them, and it ain't Arkansas... haha) I just wanted to brag on Jim for a sec. HE ROCKS! HE DA BOMB! I LUBS HIM!!! Okay, back to what I still haven't told you... ;)
So, I had to let go of my GORGEOUS, PRACTICAL, HANDY, ORDER-IFIC, MAKES ME SMILE cubby storage system. Sniff... boo-hoo. I found myself thinking about this wonderful tool to order, more and more often as we neared 5 weeks in this new resting place. Ya know, if you are missing items within the first month, they are probably things you should have. :) I started to really miss having this item and wishing for another. Looking around hoping for a deal, and knowing that the expenses we are contending with are just so high, we cannot truly justify the expense. I NEED to be well. I also need order. But I NEED HEALTH MORE. So I sat on my couch and said, "Lord, I need to replace that which I had to let go of. I just cannot spend the money on it. Would you please send me a new one?" This was just earlier this week. So a day, or maybe two goes by. I have other things on my mind... and I get a text from my sis Rachael, my brother David's wife. She wants to know if I want this brand new 9 cubby white storage deal with 4 green fabric drawers... UH, YEAH! She had no idea, that I am aware, how I had prayed that as I don't believe I told anyone. This is still in the box, brand new, and she easily could have either returned it or sold it, but she offered it to me. She was using one and found two would likely be too much space used. This did multiple things for me. It reminded me that God loves me so much, and that what is important to me matters. I matter. I matter... I know I said it already. I did that on purpose. :) It told me I need to remember to take my needs to Him. It reminded me that Rachael loves me and my family, and that she supports us. It made me feel remembered and cared for. It took one thing off the table that I was trying to figure out. Lord, do we get one that matched the living room and have some toy storage in here, or do we put it in their room? Well, although that set up would be able to go either way, it will go far better with what I want to do with their room over time. So now I don't have to figure that out, and that is fabulous. And it also gives me this sense of excitement, knowing that in the next little while, I will be able to start getting their room together a little more. Granted, we still need the mattresses for them, but that will come. The car told us this week that we had to wait, or we would be short a vehicle. DARNIT! But thankfully we had waited a bit, so though they are still using air mattresses, at least I can drive them to school! I am so excited, I call to tell my mother. Mom tells me she is giving the kids her table and chair that goes unused all the time in the playroom. Now, there is only ONE chair, but I think it might be pottery barn, and if so we can likely get more. Even if not, we can get another chair, or three, that are all different and have them painted different colors, and it will be so cute. I don't believe my mom knew that I had been really wishing I had a table and chairs for them to use in their room either. So YAHOO! Double blessing and how exciting!
So here I am blogging about this blessing, having posted on my page a little prayer...
Lord, I would like to somehow win theater tix for me and my eldest. Thank you! I shall go blog my thoughts now. www.lymemeariver.blogspot.com
I also comment on a friend's page who saw the movie my daughter wants to see, and after hearing that she liked it, decided I did want to see it as I was suspecting. I commented I wanted to see it with my daughter, but after the medical expense and car expense from today, we would have to wait, so we would. :) I honestly didn't think about it after that, I posted the prayer and came to share the blessing. As I am doing my think, a chat chime indicates there is a message. This friend (and she is just a fabulous person anyway, and I have always thought highly of her... wonder if she knows that...) said she would love to send us to the movies, and to let her know if I found a way we could do that online.... we don't leave anywhere near each other... I am so excited! Once it is firmed up, I will tell my girl. She will be so excited! How wonderful!
I am going to sigh off... my next post will just be my prayer list/provision for this new place. I will have it all in one place, and that way if anyone asks, I can just direct them here. Also, I will remember to keep track of priorities.
Blessed... too blessed to be stressed... I will try to remember this. :)
Jen
In the midst of moving, selling things (many that should not have been sold, many that had to be that we would rather not have), and having many thousands of dollars of stuff stolen, I find it almost unbelievable. And it's happened to ME and MINE! I cannot imagine how ridiculous this could sound to someone else.
Anyway, I just can't live in that space... it happened, it sucked, it still often does and I do occasionally have a cry. But not as many, phew! That part is slowing down. Now the reality of our new situation begins to unfold. Where are the lids to my pyrex I got a bazillion years ago at our wedding? Well, that's a good question. Do we still have them? I don't know, but the good news is that we were so inundated with pyrex, I can use some of it as a lid until we either find them, or get replacements. And our old pots and pans are gone, but we were blessed with some beautiful factory seconds, brand new and hardly noticeable anything was not pristine. Kind of funny, that I am so excited to have slightly (VERY slightly) damaged pots and pans (some don't look damaged at all...?) that are brand new, so I am less tense about the first scratch or nick. When finances get a little less crazy (we were informed today we really need about $1,100 in repairs to our car, and medical stuff is ridiculous) I can purchase replacement lids for the pans, I think. They came lidless. Still, I HAVE AWESOME, EASY TO CLEAN POTS AND PANS! WOO-HOO! I was wanting new ones. These are not what we will eventually have, but I am perfectly happy to have them until the day we get the professional set we would like.
I digress... I was going to talk about one of the items, nay TWO of the items I let go of in the move. One on purpose, the other, not so much, but I wasn't thinking about that one anyway. One item was a 9 cubby storage system. I had just purchased it in November, after thinking about it for about a year. I knew to purchase it, and get the fabric cubby drawers, it would run me about $120 at the min. I finally just felt I had to bite the bullet and get it. My kids were needing a sense of order to their toys, and with the layout of the large home we were living in, the toys kept making their way into the family room and ALL OVER. I reasoned that if I were to purchase a cubby that was black, with tan drawers, it would actually look lovely in the room, and create order. I LOVE ORDER. I LOOOOOOOOOVE ORDER. *happy sigh at thoughts of containers, shelves, labels, and all other forms of order... even filing systems... ahhhhh... * So I went to our local Kmart, since Petaluma didn't have Target, or even WalMart, and got the cubby system and all the drawers they had in the color I wanted for that room. Oh, I was so excited. It was like Christmas, or something. I then went online and ordered the other drawers to ship to store, and they were there THE NEXT MORNING! Ah, heavenly! I mean, other than I can hardly STAND entering that store and their layaway and ship to store section is RIGHT NEXT to the smelliest restrooms ever to "grace" a chain store. I am not exaggerating... I was stomach turning, but well worth it... because I could leave once I found an employee willing to work. haha I assigned a toy type to each drawer. The girls were having fun cleaning up after themselves and I was in a state of bliss. Hmmm... I really like word. I think I shall put it on my wall.
BLISS: noun: supreme happiness; utter joy or contentment: wedded bliss.
How can we not maintain some semblance of bliss when we have such open access to our God, our King, our Savior? REALLY!?! I know life can get crazy... BELIEVE ME, I KNOW! But He is our all in all... I could go on, but I will save this for another post.
And I did want to pause and say this... Have I mentioned lately what a wonderful man I married? I cannot fathom this life, these things we have faced, nor the tremendous fun we can have, with anyone else. And guess what? Dinner just came in, served by the kindest, most loving, silly, goofy guy with the best laugh I have ever heard, big hearted, adoring man ever! (I am related to some awesome men, but it would be weird to marry them, and it ain't Arkansas... haha) I just wanted to brag on Jim for a sec. HE ROCKS! HE DA BOMB! I LUBS HIM!!! Okay, back to what I still haven't told you... ;)
So, I had to let go of my GORGEOUS, PRACTICAL, HANDY, ORDER-IFIC, MAKES ME SMILE cubby storage system. Sniff... boo-hoo. I found myself thinking about this wonderful tool to order, more and more often as we neared 5 weeks in this new resting place. Ya know, if you are missing items within the first month, they are probably things you should have. :) I started to really miss having this item and wishing for another. Looking around hoping for a deal, and knowing that the expenses we are contending with are just so high, we cannot truly justify the expense. I NEED to be well. I also need order. But I NEED HEALTH MORE. So I sat on my couch and said, "Lord, I need to replace that which I had to let go of. I just cannot spend the money on it. Would you please send me a new one?" This was just earlier this week. So a day, or maybe two goes by. I have other things on my mind... and I get a text from my sis Rachael, my brother David's wife. She wants to know if I want this brand new 9 cubby white storage deal with 4 green fabric drawers... UH, YEAH! She had no idea, that I am aware, how I had prayed that as I don't believe I told anyone. This is still in the box, brand new, and she easily could have either returned it or sold it, but she offered it to me. She was using one and found two would likely be too much space used. This did multiple things for me. It reminded me that God loves me so much, and that what is important to me matters. I matter. I matter... I know I said it already. I did that on purpose. :) It told me I need to remember to take my needs to Him. It reminded me that Rachael loves me and my family, and that she supports us. It made me feel remembered and cared for. It took one thing off the table that I was trying to figure out. Lord, do we get one that matched the living room and have some toy storage in here, or do we put it in their room? Well, although that set up would be able to go either way, it will go far better with what I want to do with their room over time. So now I don't have to figure that out, and that is fabulous. And it also gives me this sense of excitement, knowing that in the next little while, I will be able to start getting their room together a little more. Granted, we still need the mattresses for them, but that will come. The car told us this week that we had to wait, or we would be short a vehicle. DARNIT! But thankfully we had waited a bit, so though they are still using air mattresses, at least I can drive them to school! I am so excited, I call to tell my mother. Mom tells me she is giving the kids her table and chair that goes unused all the time in the playroom. Now, there is only ONE chair, but I think it might be pottery barn, and if so we can likely get more. Even if not, we can get another chair, or three, that are all different and have them painted different colors, and it will be so cute. I don't believe my mom knew that I had been really wishing I had a table and chairs for them to use in their room either. So YAHOO! Double blessing and how exciting!
So here I am blogging about this blessing, having posted on my page a little prayer...
Lord, I would like to somehow win theater tix for me and my eldest. Thank you! I shall go blog my thoughts now. www.lymemeariver.blogspot.com
I also comment on a friend's page who saw the movie my daughter wants to see, and after hearing that she liked it, decided I did want to see it as I was suspecting. I commented I wanted to see it with my daughter, but after the medical expense and car expense from today, we would have to wait, so we would. :) I honestly didn't think about it after that, I posted the prayer and came to share the blessing. As I am doing my think, a chat chime indicates there is a message. This friend (and she is just a fabulous person anyway, and I have always thought highly of her... wonder if she knows that...) said she would love to send us to the movies, and to let her know if I found a way we could do that online.... we don't leave anywhere near each other... I am so excited! Once it is firmed up, I will tell my girl. She will be so excited! How wonderful!
I am going to sigh off... my next post will just be my prayer list/provision for this new place. I will have it all in one place, and that way if anyone asks, I can just direct them here. Also, I will remember to keep track of priorities.
Blessed... too blessed to be stressed... I will try to remember this. :)
Jen
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Ah, regrouping is a blessed thing...
I forgot last week I posted how I was unraveling. I had no idea the next day would be worse. I shared with a few prayer warrior friends, although those without text, didn't get the "prayer memo". My good friend Robin told me "He is there to catch you. You can let go." Then she felt compelled to share Psalm 46 with me, I believe the Lord spoke to her that it was specifically for me right now... so I will share it here.
God Is Our Fortress
To the choirmaster. Of the Sons of Korah. According to Alamoth. A Song.
46 God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way,
though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,
3 though its waters roar and foam,
though the mountains tremble at its swelling. Selah
a very present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way,
though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,
3 though its waters roar and foam,
though the mountains tremble at its swelling. Selah
4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy habitation of the Most High.
5 God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved;
God will help her when morning dawns.
6 The nations rage, the kingdoms totter;
he utters his voice, the earth melts.
7 The Lord of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah
the holy habitation of the Most High.
5 God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved;
God will help her when morning dawns.
6 The nations rage, the kingdoms totter;
he utters his voice, the earth melts.
7 The Lord of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah
8 Come, behold the works of the Lord,
how he has brought desolations on the earth.
9 He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;
he breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
he burns the chariots with fire.
10 “Be still, and know that I am God.
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!”
11 The Lord of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah
how he has brought desolations on the earth.
9 He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;
he breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
he burns the chariots with fire.
10 “Be still, and know that I am God.
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!”
11 The Lord of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah
I had reached the end of myself and was told that was the best place for Him to step in. This helped encourage me. I was sobbing so hard that I found myself in danger of hyperventilating, and had to rapidly lay down and force long, slow breaths in my nose and through my pursed mouth. It felt like a good idea, and it helped. Then I just said, "Lord, I don't know what to do, so I let go and give it to you... although I don't know how, I am willing." I held my arms out while on my bed, flat on my back, and felt that I needed to briefly go off my treatment plan. My body was overwhelmed with the detox, as were my emotions. I instantly felt like I had a plan and that it would be okay. I did not take my supplements/meds that evening at all. Nor did I take them through the weekend, though I did take a few things that support detox, after a couple days. I resumed the whole treatment Monday, and spoke with my doctor who seemed pleased, and just gave some basic instruction for times I may need to stop for a day or two. Emotionally I have felt much better since. Physically, well that is another story. Detox takes it's toll on people, for sure.
This last month we went from 2400 sf, 4/3 and 3 car garage, pretty much to capacity (especially the garage, shudder) to 1400 sf, 3/2 and a 1 car garage, with room to spare. Even with little imagination, I think most people would recognize how substantial that is. I could literally fit ALL my clothing in one drawer (including my big robe) and likely with my shoes. I have very little to wear. When you have minimal help (although the help we had was such a gift!), and the one handling it is the one with the least aptitude to do so, you end up taking a big hit. Financially, emotionally, and physically, the toll has been pretty hard core. I wanted to stay in the former house longer, but the mold issues were wreaking havoc on my system, and I could scarcely walk. It was getting pretty bad. Everyone was having respiratory issues, not sleeping well, coughing, and so on. We had to leave, and fast. Now we are praying the landlords take our request (which we feel is more than reasonable, and have had a meeting with Fair Housing who agrees) for the last month's pre-paid rent returned, plus our full deposit. I don't want to litigate, and I am certain they will take it as a personal affront, so I hope they concede this point.
I am not sure which toys we still own, but we have no books (except the two purchased yesterday), and many of the things we used daily are either sold, tossed, stolen, or in a box in the garage, waiting for proper cleaning so we can use them again.
I am in the midst of the theft claim, but am so tired. I just want to nap. I have kids to pick up in 40 minutes, and if it isn't raining, we will go to the hot tub. The amenities are pretty nice here.
Regardless of how deeply painful and even traumatizing this experience has been, I am grateful that never again will we be so stuck and encumbered with stuff. I realize that if I were healthy already, and forced to move quickly, Jim and I could easily pack up this whole place, plus garage... and load into a moving truck in one day. That is so freeing! Simplified... now trying to ensure our whole life is simplified.
I better get this toddler clothed... little nudie.
Today's prayer... exponential increase in healing and wholeness, financial things in place after moving and loss, ease of claims process with renter's insurance, favor with landlords, car repaired, my children to make new friends who LOVE JESUS, and for great blessing for those who are/have chosen to bless my family in this time of challenge and distress. The crisis is over, now to regroup fully and get settled. We are so very pleased to have Jim home with us again, versus always at the old place taking care of everything. Though there was some assistance (thank God, seriously!), he still managed most all of it on his own. His choices were not always perfect (duh, whose are?) but I am really proud of him. This is not an area of his strength... just like I had to let go and let him, and this is not MY area of strength. Phew, all done on that end. WE MISSED YOU HONEY!
Blessings to you, one and all.
Jen and fam
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
I need a "do-over" today.
I am at a breaking point. Something has got to give, and I mean now. Not kidding, not exaggerating, because I can't take it anymore. The kids are acting out, which is not surprising with all that they've had to contend with lately.
I am even too upset to post anymore. But I am done. It has to shift, right now. RIGHT NOW! Do you hear me? I'm ALREADY in a difficult place if life was normal, and I want to heal. I DEMAND A SHIFT!
I seriously have found the end of my rope. It's frayed and appears to be unraveling.
Lord, I need help, and need sleep badly. Please help me. Guard my heart and family, and show me the reality of YOUR promises.
I am even too upset to post anymore. But I am done. It has to shift, right now. RIGHT NOW! Do you hear me? I'm ALREADY in a difficult place if life was normal, and I want to heal. I DEMAND A SHIFT!
I seriously have found the end of my rope. It's frayed and appears to be unraveling.
Lord, I need help, and need sleep badly. Please help me. Guard my heart and family, and show me the reality of YOUR promises.
Saturday, March 3, 2012
I just realized...
if I update grammatical errors (from using the feature where I can talk my blog out), it changes the post date. Humph. I don't care for that at all.
Anyway...
Anyway...
Sometimes...
...I just feel sad and cry. This is one of those times. I don't know why, but I've learned that if that's how I'm feeling I need to respond by allowing myself to just cry it out. It's typically inconvenient, and not when I really have time I want to spend crying curled up in a ball on my bed. I don't know if it's because I have difficulty completing a task like cleaning my kitchen with help, because I'm seriously overtired with not nearly enough sleep, or possibly grieving the items that I used in love and no longer own. There's also a very neat cleansing and fresh start here, but this process is very difficult. The good things about it don't escape me. That doesn't make it easier though. Or maybe it does, and it would be even that much more difficult otherwise. I don't know, but I do know that this is very hard. I also know that on the other side, things will be very, very, very good. Day by day I take it, just doing my very best to keep my focus and perspective, and help my family through this difficult time. Today I have the blessing and benefit of having my mom over. I wish I'd had more rest so we could enjoy our time together better. I also wish that Jim didn't have to be running a garage sale, so that maybe he could spend some time with the kids and I could have some time with my mom by myself. It seems that the yard sale is a bit fruitless, and he has sold very little. I have large furniture items that I really hate to just donate, because I can really use the money, and because I love them. They is your items I was really excited to get and really hoped to have for a long time. I made the purchases accordingly, items that would last as they are well made. They're very pretty and they make me happy to look at them. But it's time for change, and I have to let it go. I suppose we could donate them, but there are so many things we actually need here. Items such as a broom, dustpan, toilet plunger, and sufficient seating in the living room, dining room furniture, and much more. I really, really want curtains, as the ones I got for my birthday last year were stolen along with the hardware to hang with them. Some people. I want to make this look like a home and not a bachelor pad. You know the kind of bachelor I'm talking about. Their beds are up on milk crates, they don't have anything hanging over the windows except maybe a blanket or a sheet, and there's nothing hanging on the walls with the exception of some random poster, maybe. I want my home to feel like a home for me and my kids and my husband. I really could use something like a coffee table, some shelving, and it would be cool to get something for the balcony so we could utilize it better. There are all kinds of things that we really need, but I don't want to be excessive. We didn't just go through all of this to end up in the same boat again. But there are things that we need and would make life much more accommodating and simple for us. Right now were scrambling to get things in some sort of orderly fashion, without the necessary tools to do so. It is hard to make meals and things like that without the proper kitchen items. I really need some flour, some other staple items, I'd really like kitchen map, and a welcome mat, and just basic stuff like that. And I have no idea where my hangers are. If I even have any anymore… and we all could use some books, as we were unable to bring any with us. Mold spores hide in paper, so keeping them would not be a good option for us. But we are big book lovers, and I would love to have some books to read in those moments where I want to be up and cleaning and "nesting" in the new place, but I'm too tired and I need to stop and behave myself by taking care of my energy levels. I cannot truly convey how frustrating it can be when you have a task you are working on, that should not be a big deal for most people, and I have to stop because my energy levels have depleted and I'm in the danger zone of becoming ill because I've overdone it that fast. I so badly want to clean my mirrors, my floors, and finish my kitchen. I have paper I want to put down on the shelves before put things on it however I needed to put things away so I need to remove the items and put the paper on the shelves. I want it to be nice, I want it to be clean, and I want it to be mine. I want to kind of own this place while we're here, and embrace it as home as long as the Lord has us here.
However, I find it hard to feel settled when it is so bare and without any character. I wonder where my things are, and what I actually have left. I hesitate trying to figure out how to buy more items, when I may have them here somewhere. I don't know, soon we should have this kind of together. I sure hope so.
Anyway, I better get going. My mom is here after all, and we have some things to do. For today I'm praying for strength so that we can accomplish things that we have set out to do, and have some fun at the same time.
Since I have the opportunity to regroup a little bit, I hope that this really helps. I finally get to eat now after my supplement time frames have passed, and I have been awake since before seven unfortunately, so I'm pretty hungry as it's almost 11 AM. So I guess I'll talk to mom about what we should do for food, get dressed, and go from there. I hope you all have a wonderful day, and enjoy this beautiful sunshine. Unless you don't have sunshine where you are, and I hope you just enjoy yourself regardless. We have sunshine, and I hear birds singing. I'm so grateful that this apartment complex has trees and birds, and backs up to the creek. My big goal is to get to the place where I can take a walk along the creek on the path, and actually be able to do it without being worried about my energy levels being insufficient. My strength is very limited right now, so I do hesitate doing that at this time. However I really, really, really want to see what it looks like back there. I love taking walks, and I know I will enjoy that when I'm able to do so. Meanwhile I will do the very best I can with what I have to work with, and I hope that you will do the same. Don't take today for granted, don't take your health and your strength for granted, please do your best to see clearly what you have before you, the things that are so good, so positive, and such blessings in your life. Please enjoy and do the things that I can't do, but you might hesitate to do for silly reasons maybe, go do them and have fun. Accomplish the things you want to accomplish because you can, be true to who you are and embrace all the good things about you in the future that God has for you. Even in my condition right now, this is what I try to do. I really do my best, and so my best it is sufficient, it is good enough. And so is yours. Don't let any circumstances take that away from you, if you were doing your best, you are doing enough. But don't settle for mediocrity, please always do your best. And then you have no regrets. I don't have regrets as I've been doing my best, I wish I could do more, but I'm also doing my best in that regard as well. This is all anyone can ever ask of an individual. So make it your best day, and this doesn't mean not giving yourself a chance to take break, relax and just enjoy being you and being with your loved ones. That's part of being your best and it's important. Thank you for reading my blog, I appreciate your support your prayers and your love. I would also love it if you would leave a comment, as then I know this following along and supporting me this way. You can also subscribe to my blog, and junket updates. You just come through very tough time so I imagine we'll have a lot of good things to say. Oh and by the way, this treatment I'm on seems to be working pretty well. I am increasing in my endurance though most people wouldn't recognize that because it's so vastly different than normal for other people. But I can see the changes and that's really good.
Okay I better eat, I am hungry!
Bless you all... Jen <3
However, I find it hard to feel settled when it is so bare and without any character. I wonder where my things are, and what I actually have left. I hesitate trying to figure out how to buy more items, when I may have them here somewhere. I don't know, soon we should have this kind of together. I sure hope so.
Anyway, I better get going. My mom is here after all, and we have some things to do. For today I'm praying for strength so that we can accomplish things that we have set out to do, and have some fun at the same time.
Since I have the opportunity to regroup a little bit, I hope that this really helps. I finally get to eat now after my supplement time frames have passed, and I have been awake since before seven unfortunately, so I'm pretty hungry as it's almost 11 AM. So I guess I'll talk to mom about what we should do for food, get dressed, and go from there. I hope you all have a wonderful day, and enjoy this beautiful sunshine. Unless you don't have sunshine where you are, and I hope you just enjoy yourself regardless. We have sunshine, and I hear birds singing. I'm so grateful that this apartment complex has trees and birds, and backs up to the creek. My big goal is to get to the place where I can take a walk along the creek on the path, and actually be able to do it without being worried about my energy levels being insufficient. My strength is very limited right now, so I do hesitate doing that at this time. However I really, really, really want to see what it looks like back there. I love taking walks, and I know I will enjoy that when I'm able to do so. Meanwhile I will do the very best I can with what I have to work with, and I hope that you will do the same. Don't take today for granted, don't take your health and your strength for granted, please do your best to see clearly what you have before you, the things that are so good, so positive, and such blessings in your life. Please enjoy and do the things that I can't do, but you might hesitate to do for silly reasons maybe, go do them and have fun. Accomplish the things you want to accomplish because you can, be true to who you are and embrace all the good things about you in the future that God has for you. Even in my condition right now, this is what I try to do. I really do my best, and so my best it is sufficient, it is good enough. And so is yours. Don't let any circumstances take that away from you, if you were doing your best, you are doing enough. But don't settle for mediocrity, please always do your best. And then you have no regrets. I don't have regrets as I've been doing my best, I wish I could do more, but I'm also doing my best in that regard as well. This is all anyone can ever ask of an individual. So make it your best day, and this doesn't mean not giving yourself a chance to take break, relax and just enjoy being you and being with your loved ones. That's part of being your best and it's important. Thank you for reading my blog, I appreciate your support your prayers and your love. I would also love it if you would leave a comment, as then I know this following along and supporting me this way. You can also subscribe to my blog, and junket updates. You just come through very tough time so I imagine we'll have a lot of good things to say. Oh and by the way, this treatment I'm on seems to be working pretty well. I am increasing in my endurance though most people wouldn't recognize that because it's so vastly different than normal for other people. But I can see the changes and that's really good.
Okay I better eat, I am hungry!
Bless you all... Jen <3
Friday, March 2, 2012
Outdated update...
So, I have not been blogging, as I have been so overwhelmed and exhausted... and frankly, was in such a difficult place that blogging for public reading might not have been a good idea. I will give a brief update for those who are not thoroughly in the loop, so they are aware of what is currently taking place, or has recently. But I find I can't do it now, it's too much. So stay tuned. It'll be in a post or two, possibly.
Oh, and it's posting late... it was meant for yesterday. :)
Oh, and it's posting late... it was meant for yesterday. :)
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